IN THE CONFESSION ROOM… October 20, 2007Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Mama Mary, Mission Anecdotes.
Tags: Our Lady of the Poor
Grace and peace in the Divine Word!
October is the month of the Holy Rosary and so it is only fitting that my blog testify to you my relationship with Mary.
Do you know that the cultivation of my devotion to the Blessed Mother come upon with it fear and trembling? This is not a horror story. In fact, this is a comedy. This is how it happened:
Wayback in the Divine Word Formation Center of Davao where I had my initial years of college seminary formation, I find solace in the confession room of our sacristy. It was a spacious room with a sofa and a beautiful image of the Lady of Guadalupe.
One day, I bought a rosary. On the first night of the religious article in my possession, I made some sentimental value with it that eventually moved me to pray the rosary. It was already past eleven and all my brother seminarians were already knocked-out in their beds after the mind-boggling study period. I went to the chapel and entered the confession room.
I chose that room so as to avoid anyone to see me praying. So, there I was, kneeling before the Lady of Guadalupe, closing my eyes, stretching my hands, with the rosary beads. See, I was really very serious.
After praying, I went out of the chapel and while walking along the corridors, I almost collapsed with what I saw. Lo and behold, the rosary in my neck was glowing! I scrubbed my eyes to check if I was not deceived by my senses. My God, it was really glowing! In an instant, my heartbeat became faster and I was already sweating in disbelief! But my God, it was really true!
I immediately ran to the dorm and covered myself with the blanket. I looked around. My fellow seminarians were all asleep. But I was not able to sleep that night. I was deeply disturbed by the glowing rosary.
“This is a miracle!” I said.
I was thinking that perhaps the Blessed Virgin would soon appear to me. Oh, what would I tell her? Certainly, never in my wildest dreams did I think of becoming the male version of Bernadette Soubirous! What would I do? Why me? How could a sinner stand face to face with the Mother of God? Perhaps the glowing of the rosary was a prelude to her apparition. I could feel the mixed emotions inside me. It would be a great privilege if she would appear to me. On the other hand, how could I tell my fellow seminarians and my formators that there was a “miracle”?
The next night, I was there at the reconciliation room, praying and at the same time waiting for her to appear to me. Sad to say, she never appeared. But it did not make me less happy because my rosary was still glowing.
Before I knew it, praying the rosary became my habit every night at the confession room. I would eagerly wait for all my dormmates to sleep so that nobody would see me. There were nights even that I would just spend the night staring at my rosary at the confession room.
Until one night, I felt so tired after a hectic and physically draining practice at the diocesan seminary for our literature production. Since my body was already calling me to sleep, I just decided to pray the first mystery and then jumped on my bed.
When I looked at my rosary, only the beads of the first mystery were glowing. I was very much terrified and troubled. Perhaps the Blessed Virgin was angry at me for being lazy. That night, I was very guilty.
That incident moved me to really devote a part of my time during the night to pray the rosary. I wanted to please her. Every time I pray, I made it a point to journey with the joys and pains of Mary, especially the Passion and the Death of her Son, Jesus.
On the time I least expected, the moment of truth came. Funny but true. It was another tiresome night when I decided not to pray. I just brushed my teeth and did not think at all of Mary to be angry with me. When I looked at the rosary in the dark, it glowed.
Finally, I got the courage to tell my best friend about it and he just gave a boisterous laugh. “Ulol! Luminous ang rosary mo!”
That time, I had really no idea about luminous matters. Bwahaha. Recalling that event, I would say that it was a very humbling experience. I really had no knowledge that my rosary only absorbed lights from the fluorescent to glow in the dark. Though it was just a natural phenomena, it created lasting miracle in me. Mama Mary loves me.