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SILIP SA BUHAY-PARI (PART TWO) September 22, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Jokes, Mission Anecdotes, OMG!, Priesthood, Subanipa Diaries, SVD Jokes.
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219 comments

Ph_locator_zamboanga_sibugay_olutangaIto ang Mapa ng Zamboanga. Highlighted ang Olutanga Island.

Andito na ang second part ng aking pasilip sa aking masaya, magulo at makulay na buhay bilang misyonerong pari. Ika nga, “O God, whatttalife! and it is Yours.” Kinaya ko lahat kasi andyan lagi si Bro. Thanks Bro!

11. Anniversary Mass. One of my friends invited me to celebrate mass sa anniversary ng isang cosmetics and lingerie brand kung saan siya nagtatrabaho. Memorable sa akin ang misang iyon sapagkat for the first time, ang aking background ay hindi mga estatuwa ng mga santo kundi estatuwa ng mga models in bra, briefs and panties. ohlala!

12. Power Ranger. Dahil lagi nga maputik dito, binilhan ako ni Fr. Dan ng boots. Pag pupunta ako ng barrio, lagi akong naka-boots. Sometimes di ako comfortable sa boots, pakiramdam ko kasi isa akong Power Ranger.

13. Kasal. Nong first time ko na magkasal dito sa isla, excited na excited ako. Pagpunta doon, naka-barong tagalog pa ako at naka-slacks. Pero nagulat na lang ako dahil bigla na lang nag-detour ang aking driver at dumaan kami sa mga niyogan na punung-puno ng mga makahiya at ang mga amorsiko ay dumikit na sa pantalon ko. Dyahe!…..Pagdating ko sa venue ng kasal, ang parents ng ikakasal ay nakashirts…ang bride and groom nakatsinelas. Hehe. Para akong na-out-of-place.

14. Ang Tsalap-tsalap! Ang pagbibigay ng last rites sa mga namamatay ay laging memorable sa akin. Ngunit ang isang encounter ko lately sa isang babaeng kapapanganak lang ay talagang stand out to the highest level. Pagkatapos niyang mangumpisal at magcommunion, tinawag niya ang kanyang husband at sinabihan, “Sweetheart, kiss me.” Kiniss naman siya ng kanyang husband. The dying wife blurted out “lamia oy! hastang lamia oy!” (Translation: “Ang sarap! Ang sarap-sarap talaga!” This is to be understood in the superlative sense!)….Siyempre, pigil na pigil ako sa pagtawa. Then the dying wife said, “Sweetheart, take my clothes off…” Aba, aba, di na ako kasali doon, walk out na ang baby priest.

15. Koks. When you are in the province, ang tawag ng mga pinoy sa softdrinks ay “koks.” (di ba????). One time, in a birthday party, magkasabay na nai-serve sa akin ang softdrinks at ang cake. Sabi ng birthday girl, “Father, inom muna kayo ng koks!” …Umandar ang pagkapilyo ko, kaya ang sagot ko, “Thank you, unahin ko muna itong kiks.”

16. Life. A 28 year old separated young man was shot in the head. Dead on the spot. Walang witness na tumayo. Sabi ng mga tao sa akin, “common yan dito Father.” OMG. God bless the young man…

17. Detecting Mass Goers. Maliit lang ang isla ng Olutanga, kaya naman madaling malaman kung sino ang mga nagsisimba at kung sino ang hindi. Pasok ako sa isang tindahan. Pag babatiin ako doon ng “good morning Father!”, nagsisimba ang mga yan! Yong mga di nagsisimba, ang bati sa akin ay “sir, sir” or worse “Anong bibilhin mo totoy?”

18. Loyola High School. Ito na yatang Loyola High School dito ang pinaka-interesting na school na nakita ko. Founder ay Jesuits. Administrators ay Dominicans. Campus Ministers ay SVD. Color ng uniform ay green.

19. Funeral Bloopers. Ang funeral ay isa rin sa mga matinding source ng bloopers. During the funeral service for her husband, the old lady cried with all her heart out. After the blessing, sinabi ko na pwede ng ilabas ang coffin sa simbahan. Aba, umeksena bigla si lola. Picture-taking daw muna. Muntik na akong mag-collapse dahil during the picture-taking, si lola naka-V sign pa! Parang teenager!

20. Feast of St. Dominic. In front of the Dominican sisters, I delivered my homily about St. Dominic. I jokingly told the parishioners na pagkatapos ng misa, “let us go to the sisters and eat their house.” Lol. Pagkatapos ng misa, takbo agad ang madre, at pagbalik may lychee desert coated with nestle cream na dala . Hehehe. Sabi niya, “i really appreciate you Father. You are an SVD and yet you are more Dominican than us.” Hahaha. Ang bait ng mga madre.

Check out the latest update on BASE AWARDS.

Next post will be September 29, Tuesday.


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BUHAY SEMINARISTA September 17, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Jokes, Mission Anecdotes, Seminary Life, SVD, SVD Jokes, Vocation Story.
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170 comments

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Since nagpasilip na ako sa buhay pari, back track tayo ng konti. Gusto ko ring ipasilip sa inyo ang mundo ng seminarista. Akala kasi ng marami na saksakan sila ng bait, laging nagdarasal, laging tahimik, seryoso, di makabasag-pinggan. Naku, mali po kayo! Ang mga seminarista po ay nakatira sa isang masaya, magulo, maingay at makulay na mundo.

1. GOD ORDAINS, GOD SUSTAINS. Di ko talaga pinangarap na magpari. Martyr kasi ang tingin ko sa isang magpapari – imagine, 10 years of seminary formation (7 years for professionals)! Yes, ten years! Yan ang sabi sa akin ng isang diocesan seminarian. Ngunit irresistible lang talaga ang calling ni Lord. Nang mapunta ako sa SVD (Society of the Divine Word), aba, 11 years pala ang formation namin. Si Lord nga naman, mapagbiro.

2. LAST MAN STANDING. When we started as young seminarians in Davao, kami ay 21 lahat. Year after year may lumalabas. After 7 years, ako na lang ang natira. Well, nagkaroon pa rin ako ng ibang classmates pero di na sila original na mga batchmates ko.

3. JOURNEY WITH EMERENCIANA. Katekista ako noon sa Holy Family Parish sa may Kamias, QC. Nakilala ko si Emerenciana, 8 years old. Di naman siya sintu-sinto pero sabihin na nating bordering na doon. My companion catechist scheduled her for baptism after knowing from her mother na di pa pala nabinyagan ang bata. During the pouring of the holy water, kumaripas ng takbo! OMG! There was a riot inside the Church! Habulan to the max at parang tuwang-tuwa pa si Emerenciana na pinaghahabol namin. Hay, asan na kaya siya ngayon?

4. WALKING DISTANCE. When I was in Kalinga Province, sabi sa akin ng parish priest na i-assign daw niya ako sa pinakamalayong chapel ng parokya. Di daw ako dapat magworry sapagkat walking distance lang naman. Totoo nga naman. We started walking Sunday, 2:30 pm. Dumating ako sa chapel, 6 pm the following day. Walking distance nga lang…

5. AMASONA. I love catechists! They are unpredictable! Sa Kalinga Province ulit…while trekking the Cordillera Mountains, nauhaw ako. Ikaw ba naman maglakad (walking distance) sa napakatarik na mga bundok, uuhawin kang talaga. Sabi ko sa kasama kong lady katekista, “danum, danum” (meaning water). Biglang bumilis ang lakad ng katekista hanggang sa nawala siya sa aking paningin. We were in the middle of the forest kaya kinabahan ako sapagkat di ko na siya nakita. Lo and behold, noong tumingin ako sa itaas ng niyog, andoon ang katekista! Kumuha ng fresh buco for me..How touching, how goldilocks!

6. HELP! HELP! Sa Kalinga Province ulit…habang naliligo ako sa ilog, nagustuhan pala ng kasama kong paring Bisaya na pumunta sa pinaliguan ko. To his horror, inanod siya ng tubig sa deepest part of the river. Kaya sigaw siya ng sigaw, “help! help!” Sabi ko naman, “joke! Joke! Joke!” kasi nga naman nag-e-english siya! Kaya tawa lang ako ng tawa kahit nakita ko na na parang nakainom na siya ng tubig. Then, he shouted in Bisaya, “tabang! Tabang!” (bisayan word for help, help) ayon nilangoy ko na. And di pa natapos diyan. To his desperation na may mahawakan, ulo ko ba naman ang kinapitan! Kaya lumubog tuloy ako! We had a good laugh after that.

7. PIT SEŇOR. For three years naging Sinulog dancer ako. Hindi sa Cebu, kundi sa seminaryo. Twice sa QC and yong panghuli ay sa Tagaytay. Unforgettable ung sa Tagaytay. Ako na kasi ang tagahawak sa Sto. Niño. Sa kalagitnaan ng prusisyon, ang isa kong classmate ay nagrequest na siya naman ang hahawak sa Baby Jesus. Hindi ko nasabi sa kanya na ang wooden base na tinungtungan ng image ng Sto. Niño ay medyo maluwag na. Kaya ayun, disaster! Noong isinayaw niya, natanggal ang Sto. Niño sa wooden base, muntik ng mabali ang paa at matanggal ang ulo.

8. LIGHT MOMENT WITH FR. ORBOS. College seminarian ako sa Christ the king, QC. One day, the sacristan mayor hastily asked me to be the commentator for the birthday thanksgiving mass of Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD. Dahil siguro sa sobrang excitement ko ay aking nasabi sa umpisa ng misa, “Our mass presider is Fr. Oscar Orbos, SVD!”….Nakangiting aso ung mga tao, pigil! Parang gustong tumawa. I was really clueless, I turned my back and do some “zipper check.” Closed naman… When Fr. Orbos was already in the altar, he smiled and said, “The commentator introduced me as Fr. Oscar Orbos. Brothers and sisters, I am not the one who ran for vice-president.” Hiyang-hiya ang baby seminarian that time!

9. IN THE HEART OF MINDORO. One time when I was in Mindoro, I asked a Mangyan (a native of Mindoro), to accompany me to the Mangyan community sa isang malayong bundok. She told me what to expect pagdating namin doon. Hindi daw sanay makakita ang mga tao doon ng Tagalogs (general term for Non-Mangyans like Bisaya, Tagalog, ilokano). Totoo nga naman, pagdating ko sa community, nagtakbuhan ang mga Mangyan at nagtago sa likod ng mga saging. Kinausap sila ng babaeng Mangyan na kasama ko kaya lumabas sila sa kanilang pinagtataguan. Then, ang kanilang elder ay biglang sumigaw: “B-14, I-24.” Di ko naintindihan. Doon ko lang na-gets noong may sumagot ng “BINGO!” Hahaha. Akala daw kasi nila pulis ako na taga-implement ng no-gambling policy. Kaya natakot.

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10. HOLY BLOOPER. It was in 2006-2007 when I became a part of the ABS-CBN’s “The Healing Eucharist” (Sunday, 6 pm). Marami akong magagandang memories sa show na yon. One time, during the Prayers of the Faithful, we were already asking the offerers to line up. One lady caught my sight. Her basket of fruits was very heavy and she seemed to be having difficulty carrying it. “Dahan-dahan lang po,” I told her. In a very solemn procession, she religiously carried the basket and extended her hand to give it to the Mass Presider. Then all of a sudden, the apples fell and nagpagulong-gulong sa red carpet. Buti na lang di nakunan ng camera.

Check out the latest update on BASE AWARDS.

Next post will be September 23, Wednesday.


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SVD BLOGGERS April 29, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Mission Anecdotes, Seminary Life, SVD, SVD Bloggers, SVD Jokes, SVD Philippines Centennial.
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Here is my list of SVD bloggers and they are all around the world!

Brother Errol Torres, SVD – Blog of Brothers

Fr. Adonis Narcelles, SVD – Berlin IMPRESSIONS

Fr. Ariel Tampus, SVD – Sharing the World to the World

Fr. Arnold Biago, SVD – Homilies

Fr. Bernard Collera, SVD – Reflections

Fr. Dondion Soriano, SVD – Welcome, Mga Kapuso’t Kapamilya

Fr. Elmer Ibarra, SVD – Your Mate Down Under

Fr. Felix Ferrer, SVD – Happylex

Fr. Felmar Fiel, SVD – Felmar’s Missionary Journey

Fr. Ferdimar Faminialagao, SVD – Japsaya

Fr. Genesis Velez, SVD – SVD Pinoy

Fr. Jaekel Solde, SVD – Sabaw sa Balbakwa

Fr. Jaimelito Gealan, SVD – Fr. Heart’s Domain

Fr. Judy Baňez, SVD – Judy’s Site

Fr. Jun Balay, SVD – Jun Haus

Fr. Michael Layugan, SVD – Divine Word School of Theology

Fr. Nonito Gallego, SVD – From a Distance

Fr. Randy Flores, SVD – Divine Word Seminary

Fr. Ross Heruela, SVD – Witness to the Word

Frt. Abraham Ronald Borja, SVD – Frozen Events

Frt. Feure du Nand Bajeaux, SVD – Shine!

Frt. Melchor Fuerzas, SVD – Seminary Life

Frt. Nelson Barbarona, SVD – My Home Away from Home

Frt. Ritchelle Salinas, SVD – Ritch and Pour

SVD JOKES #30: THE SONG OF FR. JB January 28, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Mission Anecdotes, SVD Jokes, SVD Philippines Centennial.
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Fr. Julio Barbieto, SVD was a person of humor. His jokes are contagious! One time, in our visit to Villa Cristo Rey, he shared to us a song which he composed and made us laugh until we already cried in joy:

Sa mata ng duling
Lahat tayo ay dalawa
Ha-ha-ha, Ha-ha-ha, Ha-ha-ha

Habang may duling
Hindi ka nag-iisa.
Joke only. Hehehe, Hehehe.

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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SVD JOKES #29: CATHOLIC CANDIES??? January 28, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in SVD Jokes, SVD Philippines Centennial.
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Fr. Ed Fuguso, SVD shared: In my visit to Mariveles, Bataan, a religious nun from Venezuela related to me how one day, she was casually giving away candies to a group of children when one of them refused the sweet offer saying, “Sister, I am not a Catholic. I am an Aglipayan!”

The nun quickly replied “But these are not Catholic candies.” (The Word in Other Words 2003, May 16)

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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SVD JOKES #28: FIRST TIME January 28, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Jokes, SVD Jokes, SVD Philippines Centennial.
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This is shared to me by another SVD missionary: Together with another SVD, they were sent to a foreign country. It was both their first time to ride an international flight and confessed that they were really ignorant inside the plane.
The stewardess went to them and offered, “Sir, would you like chicken or beef? Coffee or softdrink?”

The two missionaries, thinking that they are to pay for the order, made a polite gesture, “No, thanks.”

Several hours later, another stewardess came and made the same offer, “Sir, would you like chicken or beef? Coffee or softdrink?”

Still clueless that meals were part of the flight payment, they again politely refused, “No thanks.”

Another Filipino noticed the missionaries. So, this Filipino whispered to them, “the meals are free here. There is no extra charge!”

The two missionaries immediately stood up and faster-than-lightning called the stewardess and said, “Miss, chicken with two extra rice please.”

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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SVD JOKES #27: JUAN TAMAD CROCODILE January 28, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in SVD Jokes, SVD Philippines Centennial.
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Fr. Flor Lagura, SVD shared about the story of Fr. Robert Winkler, SVD. “Fr. Winkler was a German missionary to Mindoro. In the 1940’s, Fr. Winkler had to hike from Calapan, the provincial capital, to Bulalacao, the southernmost town. A distance of roughly 200 kilometers over hills, mountains and rivers.

One night, the Bongabon River raged, so the good missionary decided to wait for the dawn cradled in the safety of a tree towering over the riverbank. The next morning, he was shocked to see a huge crocodile awaiting him at the tree’s base. Fortunately, Fr. Winkler – being more patient than the reptile – lived not only to tell the story but also spend many years of his life in building up God’s kingdom.” (The Word in Other Words 2002, May 9)

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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SVD JOKES #26: LOST AND FOUND January 28, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Saints, SVD Jokes, SVD Philippines Centennial.
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One time during our common dinner, one of the seminarians announced, “I have found a book. Those who might have lost it, please claim from me.”

“What’s the title of the lost book?” Some seminarians asked.

Then the announcer answered: “St. Anthony of Padua.”

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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SVD JOKES #25: MABELE! MABELE! January 23, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in SVD Jokes.
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This is from Pinoy SVD Fr. Emil Pati:

“Setswana”, the language spoken in Botswana, is quieted complicated. One day, while visiting people in the fields, I scouted a group of women harvesting sorghum. Very articulately I greeted them, “Dumelang Bomme” (the usual greeting). In chorus they respond “Dumela Rra.”

Admiring the abundant harvest, I exclaimed, “Bomme, mabele a lona a matona thata!”

Their facial expressions and the silence were enough to tell me I was in trouble. I repeated what I said trying to make myself clear. And one of them remarked, “Ah, mabele.”

I said, “ee mma” (yes madam) pointing at the robust sorghum harvested. Then a thunderous laughter broke out. Trying not to embarrass me, the old man that the word “mabele” has two completely different meanings: If your accent is deep, it means sorghum, but if it is high, it means a woman’s breasts. It was clear then that when I spoke the first time, I was in effect saying, “Women, your breasts are enormous!” (The Word in Other Words 2002, June 2)

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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SVD JOKES #24: HELP! HELP! January 23, 2009

Posted by Fr. Felmar Castrodes Fiel, SVD in Mission Anecdotes, OMG!, SVD Jokes.
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In one of my summer apostolates, our assistant parish priest was going to be transferred to another place. So, on his last day in the parish, the people decided that we organize a picnic in the river as our token of thanksgiving for the missionary service he had done for the parish.
While in the river, I had so much fun swimming together with another SVD seminarian (You should know I am a swimmer!). This assistant parish priest also wanted to come to us. So, he swam going to our direction but was carried away by the mighty waters, until he reach a whirlpool where he could no longer move himself. He had already drank so much water. So, he shouted to us, “Help! Help!”
Knowing that the assistant parish priest doesn’t speak English to us but in Visayan language, we ignored him and even laughed at him because we thought that he was only playing jokes with us.
After few seconds, he already shouted for help in Visayan dialect: “Tabang! Tabang!”
We immediately came to his rescue!

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I welcome contributions! Anecdotes must be funny, true stories of SVD missionaries working in the Philippines or Pinoy SVD missionaries working in any part of the globe. Contributions may be forwarded to fielsvd@yahoo.com

JO5L0051

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